I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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