Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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