At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We got so high we made milksteak
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I love how my cats smell like pot.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
