It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
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I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
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I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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