I must be too annoying 4 u.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
