do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
