but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.