it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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