This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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