Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009