he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
