take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
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He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
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For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize