maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize