When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
