just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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