he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize