I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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