i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
