Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
