Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just had sex on a roof
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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