Barsexuality is the new black.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
