i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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