I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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