I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
