So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
