He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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