The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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