I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
