Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
