so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
