Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Is it because I queefed?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Who died my cat blue again?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
