I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize