what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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