I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
