And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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