Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
