My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
