I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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