During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he just fucked me for my cheese..