Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!

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  (757): She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!! http://tfl.nu/gype
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper

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  (703): She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper http://tfl.nu/dnfr
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  (904): View more from Florida

  i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy

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  (904): i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy http://tfl.nu/fggt
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  (845): View more from New York

  tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.

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  (845): tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious. http://tfl.nu/7ow8
  Replies (14) Good night (5134) Bad night (1875) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!

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  (513): the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS! http://tfl.nu/o380
  Replies (49) Good night (3052) Bad night (5016) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?

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  (707): You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis? http://tfl.nu/earc
  Replies (7) Good night (2053) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"

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  (778): I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie" http://tfl.nu/vq1n
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."

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  (623): Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN." http://tfl.nu/7rib
  Replies (13) Good night (2792) Bad night (1044)
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  (310): View more from California

  How was the party last night?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.

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  (310): How was the party last night? (314): There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it. http://tfl.nu/sxu8
  Replies (4) Good night (1695) Bad night (813)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed

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  (+44): Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed http://tfl.nu/9jww
  Replies (13) Good night (1171) Bad night (453) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.

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  (608): I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot. http://tfl.nu/aflc
  Replies (4) Good night (652) Bad night (208) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.

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  (801): You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good. http://tfl.nu/w4bo
  Replies (4) Good night (1433) Bad night (255) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.

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  (541): I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis. http://tfl.nu/x9yx
  Replies (4) Good night (740) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars

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  (515): i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars http://tfl.nu/h89f
  Replies (5) Good night (482) Bad night (192) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  15 is 15

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  (614): He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community. (1-614): 15 is 15 http://tfl.nu/ct2y
  Replies (6) Good night (285) Bad night (697) Order T-Shirt

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