I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
