I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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