Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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