You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
