The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Im part way to drunk.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
