Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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