Already got asked if we're dating
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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