There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
