if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
