Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
