We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
