does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that