i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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