so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.