At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.