Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
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We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
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you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.