we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
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Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
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I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass