You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that