***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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