And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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