Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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