this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
