She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
