we have officially lost it.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
