i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
