sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
