Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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