I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Mom said you looked used
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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