One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
