FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
